4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8Love never fails.
Usually read at weddings...
every time I have heard it before I have thought of my marriage, but this time, I was thinking of my child in Ethiopia.
And when he (my pastor) read the last line,
love NEVER fails. It hit me like a ton of bricks.
It never fails.
So...we are open to a HIV+ child. No we do not know him or her or if they will be HIV+ for sure at this point. We have this long journey before us and know so little. But God knows the number of hairs on the child's head at this very moment. He knows them more than I ever will!
The thing is that I have been very cautious about who I have told about the 'HIV part'. I mean yes, I can speak of the adoption...but HIV+ scares some people... And I am afraid of failure. Failure. I am afraid I am getting in over my head. That our new child will feel different and alone. That the HIV thing will be more than I can handle. And that I will get to a point in my life where I will sit back and think to myself, 'I failed!'
...and I might, in the world's eyes.
but Love NEVER fails.
If I try, out of love, and I fail in the world's eyes of 'having it all together' is that really failing?
If God has placed this before us then will he not get us through...?
I cannot fear failure...
because if I have Christ,
then I have love,
and if I have love
I cannot fail.
So please be praying for us. For the right little girl. For the right little boy. For the right children, if that be his will. For a child with needs. For a child that is healthy. For the one (or two) at the beginning of time that God himself chose for our family.